Have I mentioned that I hate being sick?

A word to the wise. If you must get gastroenteritis or heat exhaustion, do so one at a time. DON’T double-up on them like I did. It’s unpleasant enough to deal with on its own, but then the doctors find all sorts of interesting things to stick you with, and all sorts of interesting places to poke and prod and stab with things.

I thoroughly detest being sick. It’s one of the most annoying things out there, in my opinion. (The absolute most annoying thing out there? You know when you can’t get at the last bit of marmalade in the jar no matter what utensil you used and you MUST HAVE that almond butter and marmalade sandwich now? That.) It colors my perceptions of everything so that nothing can be pleasant until I’m well.

This makes a bit of last night’s drug-addled furor seem silly in perspective. Yes, my horse’s arse of an ex will get what is coming to him in due time, but I’m solving nothing by sitting here, seething over it. I could do much more valuable things with my time. He already wasted enough of my time when I was dating him. He doesn’t need to waste more of it.

No, the thing that’s going to be the subject of today’s rant is…the Bland Diet.

For those of you who haven’t been lucky enough to get violently sick with not one, but TWO dangerous things at the same time, the first thing that your doctors tend to do after filling some of the holes in your system back up with needles and fluids and the occasional HUGE SYRINGE RIGHT TO THE derierre is to change your diet up ‘until further notice.’

Now, I can’t complain too much about this change—as of this writing, it’s been two days since my last real meal that’s stayed in my system long enough to derive any benefit from—but anyone who has known me for any length of time knows me as a foodie, and changing my diet is not something that is undertaken lightly. After my most recent trip to the hospital yesterday, I received fifteen pages of literature detailing not what I need to take, not what I have to make sure to do next, but just on what to eat.

“A bland diet is designed primarily to help patients recover from gastrointestinal conditions or other medical circumstances in which improved digestion would be essential.” —Wikipedia’s entry on the bland diet.

Long story short: Low sugar, no spices, nothing with significant fiber content, no red meat, no strongly flavored fish (though tuna is apparently ok). Nothing spicy, nothing processed heavily like lunchmeats, easy on the dairy, no tough vegetables, no beans, and—interestingly—no aspirin or ibuprofen.

I CAN eat: soft foods, plain bread, lean proteins, boiled eggs, and low-fiber cereals.

I CANNOT eat:  most of what’s in my pantry.

Right now, sitting in my freezer waiting for me to have a good side dish to go with it, is one of the best delicacies I’ve had the occasion to eat: lobster ravioli. However, lobster’s one of those things that are off limits right now—it is DEFINITELY not lean, and the flavor’s wonderfully assertive. Also off limits are the delicious high-fiber multigrain rolls I like so much for sandwiches, my favorite lunchmeat—Lebanon bologna—and tomatoes.

Basically, I can have saltines and Gatorade. Oh, and canned soup. And I just had my last canned soup.

I jumped online to find options—there’s a bit more leeway to my restrictions than I thought. Apparently, bacon is allowed on the bland diet, as long as it’s fried nice and crisp, and well-drained. Cream of wheat (farina) is also allowed. (So now I have an option for breakfast.) But the restrictions are still pretty heavy, and there will be a lot of adjusting to make until my stomach adjusts to having…you know…FOOD. But…it’s just SO BORING!

*eyes fridge*

Then again, I’d rather not wind up hospitalized for the third time in this single month, so…

*reaches for plain bread*

Chrysanth WebStory This is WebStory!


Remember when I mentioned that ‘getting heat exhaustion’ is one of the Things I Generally Don’t Recommend?

We can add “stomach flu,” “gastroenteritis,” and “dehydration” to that.


Right now I’m crunching on dry udon noodles.  It’s the closest thing I have to having saltine crackers, one of the few things that is safe for me to eat right now.  (I’m also allowed plain potatoes, plain rice, plain low-fiber bread, and applesauce.)


Something else we can add to the Things I Generally Don’t Recommend?  Immediately checking Facebook after getting back from the hospital.  The first thing in my feed: news that my ex has given his new girl, of all of two months, A FUCKING PROMISE RING.




Excuse me.  I need to load up his ghost and  beat the shit out of it.  After the hell this man put me through, I honestly don’t want to see anything happen to him but his entire life unravel as he tries to put it back together.

Chrysanth WebStory This is WebStory!

Preparations, Day 2.

(Once again, I’m awake at the back end of morning to yak.)

As I wait for the chicken I’ve just fried to cool off enough to place in a tupperware container, I look over the list of things that I want to do for my 100 Things blogging challenge.  So far, that list of notes is 60 items strong—40 of those things added to the list just yesterday, when I should have been getting ready for bed. The list of things, amazingly, seems to be workable in groups of ten. I hadn’t even realized just how many things there are that I like.

(Not that that’d be obvious on a site like, say-oh, Facebook, where I find things I’m into and go on a clicking spree.)

So far, I’ve got things like

  • Favorite Composer,
  • Favorite Activities,
  • Favorite Music Album, and even
  • Favorute Intangible Events.

What? I’m a geek.

My bus shows up in about half an hour.  Loads of time in a tiny cramped laundry room. The place is so backed up today that the upcoming paycheck is actually going to be bigger of some of the ones I’ve gotten so far this year that have TWO week’s worth of work on them. And I know what that money’s going to do: go into the bank where I will NOT touch it except in the case of ordering spare parts for things and grow slowly so that I can purchase the phone I will be using in the Republic Wireless beta. For once, I have a plan.  …sort of. I’m not sure that “PAY BILLS AND SPEND LITTLE TO NOTHING” counts as an actual plan. It really seems like more of an angry shout.

…Once I actually begin this challenge, things are going to get a bit raw.  I’m going to cut myself open and hold my own soul over all of this, and why it’s played a part in basically saving me. I’m probably not going to sound particularly classy, but this is not about class. It is about passion—the kind of thing that helps you keep going, even when things are deadset against you. Of course, this isn’t to say that there won’t be laughs to be had at this thing—my fannish geekiness about some things is worthy of a chuckle (OH EM GOODNESS THIS PURSE HAS A HIDDEN COMPARTMENT =D). And I’m willing to bet that you’ve never met someone who’s actually squeed at a vanilla orchid.

Everything is fair game.  All of me will be on display during this challenge. From my list itself to what goes on in my head, you’ll see a side of me that few do.

Sound good? OK. Great! …’cuz right about now, I REALLY need to be packing up for work. I’ll work on my list as I make the transit for work.

Chrysanth WebStory This is WebStory!

Prepare for Trouble! —Preparing for the Challenge

And make it double?

Sorry.  The fact that this was a perfect chance to reference Team Rocket just happens to be a coincidence.

I’m getting ready to take on the 100 Things challenge, and as such, I’ve had to do one of those things that I normally balk at:

Making an outline.

*tires screech*

Yeah, yeah, blah blah outlines won’t kill me blah blah.  But I don’t like doing it because it’s, well, work.

*tires screech*

Yes, I know writing is work!  Now stop burning my tires up with your rampant braking!

*lead foot to gas pedal*

The idea: I’m about to start the 100 Things Challenge, in which I plan to blog about 100 of my favorite things.  The structure isn’t—well, I don’t have one to speak of yet.  So what I need to do is come up with a structure of some sort.  I know for certain that the Things won’t be all THINGS, specifically—some are places, some are sensations, and some are situations.  Some of them will be little things, things that seem almost inconsequential in the grand scope of things.  But they’re things that I like, and as we’ve mentioned before, things that I like are going to be a big thing this year, making sure that I make it through the shenanigans that have been going on.

The Process: I haven’t really thought of the process yet.  I’m thinking, create a document in Excel or Word, list the Things that I want to do in a table, and then do them bit by bit, storing the information and drafts first in Scrivener, and then importing them here into my WebStory client for posting.

The Problem:  I’m…REALLY bad at that.

The challenge, therefore, will be more than just me faffing about going on and on about things that I like.  It’ll be an excercise in how to do things the way they’re supposed to be done, with a bit of structure.  In addition, because it’s going to be all about things that I like, there’ll be that little rush of feel-good chemicals that you get when you’re sharing stuff about the things you like.

And the gods only know how much I need that rush of feel-good chemicals right now.

I’d best get to work on that outline/spreadsheet/thing.

Chrysanth WebStory This is WebStory!