*starts pounding out entry fast so she doesn’t miss her bus to work*
The year has been rough.
In the span of a few short months—not even a whole half of a year—I’ve managed to land a few difficulties in my life. It began with that ugly breakup between me and my second ex, over the thing that’s sent me to the hospital three times in three months. Life as a PTSD survivor has not ben a picnic. To top it off, I now have to deal with little blanks in my memory off and on—those would be what I call the brainzaps. I have oddly-timed panic attacks now.
I have developed a quaking fear of entering an elevator (or any small space) that contains more than two men.
I’ve developed an unreasoning terror of the palms of people’s hands.
I’ve begun hearing things, seeing things, that aren’t quite there.
I’ve lost the motivation to do many things that I find enjoyable most of the time.
The thought of physical intimacy, even in a written love scene, gives me cold chills.
So it’s not unusual that I’ve also developed a wild pattern of mood swings that go from feeling AWESOME about EVERYTHING, to landing head first into deep, black depression. It’s been kind of a rough time of it, that’s for certain. Then again, I’ve been through a lot.
I really count myself lucky to be alive today. For more than one reason.
The biggest one: there are things I like, and people I like. If I stop to count them, I feel better about myself and life.
That is why I’m going to do the “100 Things” challenge.
I’m going to blog about 100 things I like. Ideas, events, food (NO ONE here is surprised at food’s inclusion on this list), activities, music—if I like it, anything’s fair game.
I’m going to take time out of my day to do this, because for every thing that I like…there’s a reason to live.
I’ll begin when something I’ve wanted for a long time arrives in the mail. ETA: Two Weeks. </Money Pit Reference>
I hope you’ll join me for this project. One of the things I like is to talk, and it’s more fun when there’s someone out there listening.
Now if you’ll excuse me—I’m…kinda sorta supposed to be at work. 😄