My first blogging experience—and longest—was on another site.

(This link contains warnings for: Forget worksafe, this might not even be brainsafe…)

Even through all of the shenanigans that have happened over the last few years, it’s been a bulwark for me. Not having a lot of people who I can talk to without having to backtrack and explain what word ‘x’ means and what word ‘y’ means in any given situation, the opportunity to unload and vent without restraint is something I’ve always found important in the last few years. Sometimes, I read the thoughts of others I’ve stumbled over in communities or have commented on my posts—I like the back and forth exchange of it, which is why so many of you here have probably seen me in a bajillionty places on any given day.

Today, I saw something that irritated me.

I can’t even really say that it made me really angry at all—it just …struck a sour chord in me.

There is a community on LJ for pretty much anything that you can think of—and if it isn’t there, you can certainly feel free to start it—but what got my dander up was a certain ‘child-free by choice’ community that I’d been lurking around in, thinking that I could give the information to a friend of mine who has damn good reasons (for instance the possible side effect of DEATH) for not wanting kids.

Note: I will not be identifying the poster, in order to avoid a BIG INTERNET DISASTER AWOOGA AWOOGA.

The poster had been looking at a site to find tips for dealing with the unpleasant side effects of cancer treatment. She (I presume) had read through the article and eventually reached the part of almost every website that lists articles that are in some way related to the one that one was just reading, and then—slam brakes on, full stop, on three, everybody—ONE… TWO… THREE… “Wat?”

The next thing that I see is a lot of whining about the ads—“oh, so these cancers are less important than the one I searched?” sorts of things, followed by indignation at one of the ‘related links’ in particular: one in which the story of a woman who was afraid that cancer would derail her chance to have a child.

THAT was when the post began to get ugly. Almost immediately, there were complaints about these ‘breeders’ who everyone thinks is more important than people who don’t want to have kids, and WHY was this where it was, rubbing it in when the original poster had specifically searched for information that didn’t include kids in the factor. It got progressively worse as it went along, and for the first time in ages, I was unable to finish reading what had begun as a fascinating post, as my disgust got the better of me.

Some might ask why there’s such a bias towards the so-called ‘breeders,’ people who have or want to have children, and why there is such a stigma attached to being childless. I believe the better question is, why is there such contention between these groups? Just because one group creates little people and the other one doesn’t? Why pick on one another in such a way—seeing as not only does is solve absolutely nothing, it just creates ugly verbal wars. Why is this even an issue?

Irritation at other people’s choices, and other people thinking that they know better than the first party in question—it’s absolutely ridiculous. These shenanigans are how wars get started.

That thread—nay, that entire community—is pretty much out of my line of sight now. I’m not about to spend my time watching one group of people belittle and insult another one.


If I wanted to do that, I’d just step outside.


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