So This is a Hangover. Not a fan.
At Dad’s place with a cup of his “Hangover Coffee.”
The first mistake was to drink four beers an hour in response to the flashbacks. You fix that shit with BENADRYL, dammit!
The second was the Michelob. That stuff is terrible. Starts off promising and turns into Dr. Bronner’s Tea Tree Oil Castile Soap on the finish—you can brush your teeth with it but don’t drink it.
(Note: DON’T DO THIS. This entire thing is a cautionary tale.)
I vacated the place a day later and hung over. It’s my first alcohol hangover… And that is why I made the Third Mistake of being hung over: I drank a glass of plain water.
…The reason they give people coffee for hangovers in the movies isn’t because it’s going to sober up people sooner. It’s because water hits the stomach like ice gravel and it’s coming right back up. LITERALLY DRINK ANYTHING BUT PLAIN WATER. Dr. Bronner’s Tea Tree Oil Castile Soap would be a better experience.
Did you know that if you don’t eat the next day that hangover isn’t going away? Yeah, neither did I. That’s why the Hangover Coffee. I STILL haven’t eaten… Not counting the meclizine tablets.
Stuff retrieval is imminent. Not sure about money or anything yet… Dad has suggested a certain nausea remedy, since the coffees aren’t killing it. I’ll take it.
…it occurs to me that I’ve not explained. Soon.