No sleep til…

The week has been something else. Job hunting, storms, and a phone interview that I cannot tell was good or not. The tone seems to have been a good interview, but I have never been good at telling tone without seeing a face conclusively—it is always a guess for me. That is an irony for me, since I can remotely read someone’s cards with remarkable ease.

This week has also brought some surprising news: I’m down a pants size. Whether this is because I’ve been forced to eat less or because I’ve been drinking more tea, it’s…interesting. It ceretainly busted my (what I now realize was rather outlandish) theory that I had done the laundry wrong at some point and had stretched my good pair of jeans.

If I’m being honest, tea and tarot have been the reliable comforts in this time of struggle. I can brew a hot cup and sip before a meditative reading at night after a day of trudging around finding out that the places I was going only take online applications now. The hot drink makes everything fall away, makes it feel for one second that everything is going to be okay, for just one second. It’s not like I can say that it takes me back to a time before—my past was a fraught one, even though it was in that past that I discovered my love of tea. No, a drink of tea brings me uniquely into the moment, so that nothing exists but that moment, and the sip that exist in it. In a similar vein, tarot brings me into a mindfulness that makes me focus on both the now and what I have to do next, so that I don’t get trapped in the spiral of unending what-ifs that my brain is prone to sending me into. It’s a trick I learned early into experimenting with my faith and while it’s not for everyone, it works for me.

It’s late. Well, if I want to get technical, it’s pretty early for me—lately I go to bed at four in the morning, and it’s barely one in the morning. But, my tea is getting cold waiting for me, and my cards are waiting for my nightly meditation.

So, good night…

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